16 February 2010

Sir, You have just committed a bloggable offence!

I developed a new saying the other day out of the clear blue that helps me identify something that deserves some of my attention. We see and hear some of the darnedest things out here, don't we?

However, sometimes in all the frustrations that the job brings, I forget to look at the lighter side and find the real humor in the mundane. But here lately thanks to a gracious young lady, the well written Ms.P, who has impressed me with her keen and sensitive eye, I've kinda learned to see through the problem or situation for what it really is. The past week or so has brought this saying to life several times among the crew at work. Now anytime we see, hear or observe something, for lack of a better term...stupid, we acknowledge it with a cautionary, "Sir, you have just committed a bloggable offence". And the bloggable offences will be dealt with accordingly in the courts of The Gate Keeper. Any others will be referred to the appropriate respective department, i.e. sympathy, anger, ect.

So there were two such bloggable offences in the past two or three days, both from the mouths of doctors.

Nooo! Really?!? Doctors say stupid things?!? Yep... Read on.

My partner and I bring in a lady the other night in imminent respiratory failure. Now when we got to the house she was in some distress, but sustaining well. Breathing is a little labored so we replace the 100ft of nasal cannula on 2L O2 with an NRB to get her sats up. As we are loading her into the truck...you guessed it, she deteriorates. I end up doing a one man vent assist all the way to the ER; no RSI here and nasal intubation is out for us.

We wheel her into the ER, transfer her to a trauma room and the respiratory team takes over. The doctor comes in and asked, "Is she a full code?"

"Yes she is" I say with the utmost of certainty.

He squares off and asks, "How do you know?"

Are you KIDDING me I'm thinking as I reply, "Because she doesn't have a golden ticket" refering to the DNR of course.

Then he asks me as if the idea should have been the first thing in my mind before BSI/Sceen safe, "Well, did you ask".

"No" I answered, feeling so beat down like I was the biggest goof for not asking the patient or her family just how much of my job do you want me do? Just how much are willing to pay tonight. It's kinda like, "Do you want fries with that"? Or, "For an additional $5.95 we'll wax your car and vacuum the inside if you'd like"

Then he continues, "I always ask, that's the first thing I want to know."

With all the professional decorum I could muster, I simply turned, walked away and acknowledge that he had in fact just committed a bloggable offence.


This morning we are in the trauma room working a code waiting for the Doc to grace us with his presence, CPR in progress and the whole nine yards. Yes it was a full code..and yes I asked.

The doctor walks in and just blurts out and asks, "What happened?"

"She quit breathing and then her heart stopped", I state matter-of-factly. Why else would we be doing this to a human body?!?

The nurses lost it!!

He too had just committed a bloggable offence.

So just remember, they're out there for all the world to see if we just open our ears and listen for Capt. Obvious as he opens his mouth.


  1. "She quit breathing and then her heart stopped"

    Let me know when your next performance is and I will bring the popcorn!

    I love it!

  2. It is everynight that he works and yes, I can assure you that he did in fact say this. For the lack of a better term it was in fact... Priceless!