A time for reflection

It’s been a whole week now since I’ve gotten back from the EMS Today/CoEms/EMS2.0/flash vacation trip to Baltimore. Little did I know that that little trip would accomplish so much. I had my expectations, but never did I suspect that it would accomplish so much in so little time.

I came back last Sat. night and went straight into work…literally. I found myself whipping through the city streets going to this belly ache call and then the next with a renewed sense of job satisfaction. Somehow those belly aches seemed just as important as the AMI to me tonight. I guess it was just realizing that there are others out there doing the same ‘ol mundane stuff I am and facing the same problems and frustrations…just like me.

Even the casual run in with the non-caring nurse (so it seemed) at transfer of care didn’t set me off this time. It was only later into the wee morning hours that I had time to reflect on the conversations I had in Baltimore and it was then that it hit me. I had been imparted a seed of wisdom from the Happy Medic that most likely has changed the course of my career.

Really? Was it that dramatic you might ask.

To me it was...let me set the stage.

I’m sitting at Uno Chicago on the inner harbor of Baltimore enjoying a beer and grilled shrimp, courtesy of JEMS and George Washington University, with some guys who have made their way down from northern Joysey. To my right is this little guy that has more energy than Chernoble before it blew. He’s a medic I’m told, but doesn’t quite fit the image of such a creature. He’s no bigger around than a sapling but has the coolest gelled hair thing going, smartly dressed and quite articulate he is.

We’re talking about this little radio type show he does. Yeah, I’d heard of it; a couple of medical types get together in some garage and talk about all things EMS. He’s just all excited and so am I for some unknown reason as we are talking like we were in a garage, a very noisy one at that.

Out of the corner of my eye I catch this ruggedly handsome paramedic type approaching and I abruptly turn to say hello. This little bite size of a guy turns too and recognizes who it is, then introduces me to this man who has probably already tagged me as a groupie from our earlier encounters. With bedazzling speed and one swift motion he is out of his chair; he grabs this tall man by the arm and guides him into the seat that he had just vacated. With that, the little bite size medic is gone. Off to his next chance encounter with an unsuspecting guest who will never guess what name really appears on his driver’s license.

Here I am, sitting with the Happy Medic to my right. “It’s him…it’s really him”, I catch myself thinking before I realize that we’ve already talked a couple of times earlier today.

“So, having a good time?” he asks leaning in for a response.

“Wonderful time, just fabulous” I replied.

We engage in some small talk about this that and the other before I decide to take the plunge.

“Is this an inappropriate time to talk shop?” I ask.

“No, not at all”, he says without reservation leaning in.

I had so much that I wanted to ask on this trip, so many unknowns. Where do we at the ground level fit into the grand scheme of things. All of the who, what, when, where, why and how’s that you could think of were running through my mind. I came with questions and so far I had only found a hint of an answer. Ted Setla and I had talked briefly about The Chronicals coming to my area and how that could be made to happen. With that I came away with a clearer understanding of the mission of the project and how conversation would provide the starting point for change. That much I could appreciate but he surely didn’t understand where I come from. Here we don’t acknowledge our problems, and we certainly don’t talk about them. How does this work for me I still wanted to know.

“How does this work for us on the ground, those at the bottom of the totem pole?”, I started. “How do those of us who have ideas, complaints, concerns or problems get heard. How do those of us with integrity effect a needed change among those who could care less?”, I asked pleading for a simple answer that would fix it all.

I was about to get the simple answer that I so desperately needed to hear. However, unbeknownst to me, I knew the answer already.

HM thought for a second and spoke forth his wisdom, “You just be the person, the medic, that you want everyone else to be”.

What? Really? Was it that simple? Could that really work? Am I the one who will set the tone and the pace for professionalism around me? These are the thoughts that ran through my mind as I registered what I had just heard. Then he continued…

“Are you a Paramedic?”

“Testing in May”, I answered.

“Then what…” he asked.

“I’ll finish my associates next Fall semester”

“…and then…” he asked returning the volley.

I motioned to the George Washington University banner hanging behind me on the wall and answered “going to GW to complete my bachelors”.

He sit back and threw his hands up, “sounds like you’ve already got it figured out. It’s then that you can go to those that matter and approach them with your field experience and tell them you’ve got an education just like them and demand to be heard. You’ve got to approach them on their level.”

From that point forward it was all a whir as he talked about how he handled situations that surfaced in his world. I was then that I realized that I was missing one ingredient that will be the catalyst for all this information…patience.

This will take time. It’s not going to be an overnight thing by no means and more than likely I may not even see it in my life time. But what I do know is that my contributions, however small, will be added in with those of like mind and spirit, and that will be what makes the difference.

So here I sit… being patient. Watching time and events unfold around me in slow motion, revealing the master plan one piece at a time.

It’s not as frustrating as I imagined it would be, but then again, it’s only been a week. But now is a growing period. This is a time to flex my patience muscle that will lead to the ability to deal with the complications that arise from the evolving of our profession.

I will just go on doing what I do…being the kind of person I wish everyone else would be.

--He who leads with no following is merely taking a walk--

I knew it was bound to happen. It was just a matter of time before the question would be asked and I would find myself in the position of defending “The Chronicles” and “EMS 2.0”. Sadly enough I was ready, only because I had internally asked myself this same question just to do a little self-check on my motivations. I’m not a self-serving person, so I do that quite often.

“You sure have been talking a lot about this Chronicles of EMS stuff lately…posting stuff on face book…sending out emails and stuff. What do you think, they’re gonna ask you to be on TV or something?”

The way it was asked really caught me off guard. It was almost accusatory and had a lot of jealous overtones. But what really made me feel uneasy was the fact that I was in the process of telling a few people that I had intentions of going to Baltimore, MD for the EMS Today Expo. The question came just as I was saying that I was excited by the opportunity to speak with Justin, Mark and possibly Ted in person and maybe there would be others who I only knew from Blogville that I could finally meet up with.

Yeah, so maybe I am a little star struck…maybe. There are a few of us at work who refer to the authors of certain blogs by name as if they are our next door neighbor we’ve just talked to before coming to work. It’s like "You know, Justin brought up a good point the other day" or "and Chris said…” and “…Rhett said that…”. That’s just how much we have come to identify with our colleagues in the profession. Hey, we blog after all, we get a little intimate with our feelings and quite literally let it all hang out sometimes.

So in answer to the question I was posed with I answered it this way. “Who in their right mind would turn down an opportunity if it were presented…but I am not seeking any public recognition. My only intent is to align myself with and solidify my professional network with those who are like-minded and are positioned to make a difference”. That is the honest to god truth.

It was only this past November that I stumbled across this blogging stuff…I never knew anybody was doing it in relation to EMS or any other segment of public safety. Sure I’d heard of blogging and I’d read blogs about different things, but never had I stumbled across something that I was passionate about, like changing EMS and the way it is delivered. So quite naturally I became hooked on reading blogs and eventually starting commenting. Before I knew it I had a burning desire to put my thoughts and experiences out there and contribute to the discussions. These are the people that I can identify with! They’re saying the same things I’ve been saying for three years now! I AM NOT ALONE!!! Yes, these are the people I want to be around and align myself with because I’m a firm believer that you become like those with whom you associate, and quite frankly there are not a lot of people that share my vision around here I’ve found...the hard way.

This became even more evident to me early yesterday morning when I had an opportunity to listen to the latest podcast from EMS Garage(Episode 73). The part of the discussion that really got me stoked was when they started talking about how we identify ourselves; what is our identity in the public arena.

The truth could not have been told any truer (is that even a word?) when someone made a comment along the lines of we really don’t have any established history in EMS…the fire service has 200 years of practice on us. And they’re right. We are still stuck being the bastard child of the health care industry and living in the orphanage at the fire house. We don’t have fourth and fifth generation Paramedics to look back on with pride and admire their traditions. It is for that reason that I do admire the structure of the fire service. I like the order, the discipline, the traditions, the daily duties and the way that they are carried out.

Someone else said that sometimes it’s considered punitive to be assigned to the bus instead of the engine. For that reason alone I’m willing to cross train just so I can qualify for a job with a municipal fire service. Put me on the bus…leave me on the bus…I really don’t care, that’s where I’d rather be. The public would be better served by someone who actually wants to be there anyway.

But it’s the camaraderie that I long for at work, a sense of purpose and being an integral part of a system with a clear cut defined job function.

I’ll close it up with this final thought and reference a very moving speech that was posted yesterday(Part I PartII ). I watched this speech and was almost moved to tears as this FDNY Lieutenant spoke from his heart about what it means to be in public service.

We in the pre-hospital care field need some heroes too. We need someone to start living legendary lifestyles and become a legend in their own right. We need Paramedics to be willing to put on the super cape and perform heroically in the field with honor, character and integrity. I want my sons and my daughter to tell my grand kids that their grandpa was a Paramedic just like they are, and pass the stories on down through the generations.

I look back on the service that my grandfather and father gave to the City of Hopewell Bureau of Fire with pride. My grandfather died before he probably knew what a Paramedic was, but I’d like to think that if he did, he would have been one. My father left the service just as his station was staffing EMT’s on an engine, I’d like to think he would’ve been one of the first had he stayed on.

So am I looking for notoriety or fame? Absolutely not. I just want to make a difference and leave the world and/or the system better than it was when it was handed down to me.